The Best (Or Worst) Church Name In History?
And the award for the best (or worst) church name in history goes to….
St.LifeSaddleWillowPointeHillNewSongBackChurch.tv
Seriously. Why do churches lack imagination when it comes to naming?
Are we so bereft of ideas that we cannot come up with our own names without looking over someone else's shoulder?
Or is imitation the sincerest form of flattery?
What is the worst name you have seen?
What is the best?
Can you make up an even better fictitious name?
Has someone done this post before and am I just a distant echo of someone else's original sarcastic brilliance?
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Two true stories…
Story number one.
A church I previously attended (infact the church I grew up in and spent 20 or so years of my life) was going to change it’s name.
For many decades it had been known as “Somewhere Baptist Church” (not it’s actual name) and the leadership of the church thought it was time for an update to “Somewhere Baptist Community Church” and so had taken the proposal to a church members meeting. During the discussion one elderly gentleman (who’d been a part of the church for so long the church’s colour scheme had been choosen to match his wardrobe) suggested that “you can’t use the word ‘community’ people will think it’s a community hall and anyone could turn up”.
Take away:
What does your name say to your congregants about who you are and the mission of the church? Are they alligned with that vision, or is it just wishfull thinking?
Story number two.
During my youth leader days (at Somewhere Baptist COMMUNITY Church) we sometimes traveled 15 minutes down the highway to another church for a youth service or other combined activity. The church was of the Anglican flavor (mmmm, yummy) and was therefore named for a Saint, in this case St. Bartholomew. Internally to that church they refered to themselves as St. Bart’s, which is OK but their internal language leaked into their external communication. As a result I wondered more than once how many outsiders might image a yellow pointy haired kid with a halo.
Take away:
Your church name may be fantastic for you and others safely within the church walls, but what does it say to people on the outside? How might it affect their preconceptions as to who you are?
Case in point. The church that meets across the road from us is called “Hope of God”. I’m sure to them it’s a great name that conveys great meaning, but to me (even as a fellow Christian) it just seems a bit naff. It’s the kind of name I would expect to hear mentioned in an un-complementry story on one of those half-hour current affairs TV programs.
For fun, you can head to http://hippypastornamegenerator.com to make more terrible names.
I remember reading a list of some of the funniest church names late last year… Here it is:
http://cole-slaw.blogspot.com/2009/10/naming-your-church-part-1.html
Paul, that blog is just the funniest post I have seen. I think I’m going to be laughing for most of the day with that one.
John, Thanks for the link love. Very funny!
Neil, Somewhere Bapist Church is actually a step UP from some of the names Paul had in his link like James Bond United Community Church. Or Waterproof Baptist Church!
I think the worst I’ve seen is “Soul Harvest Church” in Indianapolis (http://www.soulharvestonline.com/). I drove past a billboard for them when traveling along I-70 a few months back.
I’m a lifelong Christian and work for a church, and that name really creeps me out. I have visions of bad horror flicks. I can’t imagine how new churchgoers would perceive it.
So in the context of Australia and other countries where there’s never been a war on domestic soil, far less a war that has defined the nation, Battleground Baptist Church sure sounds weird. But from here, where that’s exactly the nation’s history, Battleground makes perfect sense. It’s a location descriptor no weirder than “Mountaintop” or “Bayside” or “City” or “Peninsula”. Try explaining Woolloomooloo Baptist or Coonabarabran Presbyterian to someone from my neighbourhood. 😉
But I’m with the other commentator – Soul Harvest Church doesn’t do it for me… No offence intended! Â
Apparently the Soul Harvest I linked is not the one in Indianapolis, so it would seem there are multiple ones. That’s even more creepy.